Sunday 7 June 2009

“RUSH-RUSH” BUT MY HEART LONGS FOR “HUSH-HUSH”………….

Living in a fast moving city, everything being artificial and life continually changing, I have come to realize the importance of having somewhere to belong and more importantly let it be natural. Many a time when you walk in the streets of Dubai you will find changes on the roads, uprooted signage or even done away with roundabouts. The next day, the path on which you are used to walking could be marked for cable construction or sewer expansion. Some of these changes are temporary but they can vastly affect our lives, moods and peace of mind…

In our lives we all search for peace or somewhere to call our own, to belong and know that people care for us. Even the most hardened hearts long for the peace that can be found in the hearts that truly care. Speaking in general terms may not bring out what I mean to discuss. Today my heart longs for a place I once knew, where the wind blew on my face and the nourishing scent of soil just before the rains, calmed my soul. I could lie on the grass and count the stars, and many of the afternoons ride my bike down the winding roads of my hometown, manyatta.

Memories of those days fill my heart with nostalgia. My heart that is no longer virgin, heart that has been troubled by emotions. Heart that has seen hardship unlike those days when I had no idea what the real world was like. This young part of my life is filled with love and ready to give love, it was filled with dreams and deep-heartened laughter. I had no need to keep appearances, for I knew that when the sun will rise I could walk bare feet on the dewy grass on my papa’s home.

I have grown up and my papa’s home is no longer my own, I should set out to create my own, something that I have seen my older siblings do without much effort. This has not been the case for me given that; I seem to search for wrong places to belong. My heart is struggling to maintain the peace and the harmony of all that is inside. My eyes try to see only things that will please my soul.. When every where is “rush-rush”, my soul searches for “hush-hush” that I could find by the riverside or on top of the small rock or more so in the millions drops of rain on my skin.. I yearn for the healing of nature; my soul yearns to find the peace it once knew…

Even though the wind my blows through my window in my apartment, it’s hot, humid and no life. It brings in the “rush-rush “of the world passing by fast outside my window. For those who are lucky to feel the rain, to feel the morning dew beneath their feet and rub the soft soil in the palm of their hands, you are blessed souls. My hearts envies what you have and some day I will head straight there…

Into the country side, glowing sunsets, bleating lambs and gentle winds….hmmm.. “hush-hush” my soul seeks this place that was created by God, the giver of life…..

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