The beauty of a beginning friendship is beyond description especially if the friendship is of a potential love story or marriage. Usually we live in bliss at these moments and we forget that we are simple human beings of different backgrounds and upbringings trying to forge a co existence. This isn’t easy because we have to blend our differences to create a harmonious union in the name of “friendship” or “marriage”. Well these two words have often been misused and many a times we have mixed up “unions of convenience” to the above mentioned two.
Don’t get me wrong I am not here to criticize the friends we have, I only wish to ask you to reflect on the persons beside you as you live through these “unions”, are they genuine? Are they the persons who would help you cross a bridge of raging rivers in your life and you the same to them? Would they stand by you as you fight to eliminate the elements of self pity, loss, pain and even insecurities in your life? The stormy times will come and doubts may assail but would be alone struggling to stand every time you fall? Would they be friends in the fields of sunflower where the sun glows and the radiance of the flowers fill your hearts with joy?
Tonight I am thinking on the values of these words and I focus on the bridges that we have to burn in our lives. Don’t they say that the bridges that we burn leave us lonely? What of instances when these bridges often lead to cross into unknown territories? Where we loose our selves in the name friendship? When the persons dear to us lead us into dungeons of self doubt, insecurities and low self esteem? What do you do when you feel the temptations to cross these bridges are overwhelming? You are addicted and you can’t see the other bridges around you. It flows through your blood like a drug. The ecstasy is gone but you force yourself to hope that this bridge will one day lead you the bliss you had at the first time you crossed it.
Well, I don’t mean to make it all look ugly but in my simple opinion, it’s worth burning this kind bridge. It’s worth letting go of this hope that you keep alive just so that you can go by another day. It’s not wrong to hope but perhaps you need to place your hope in the right baskets. You need to hope in something substantial or some one “substantial”. I’ll tell you how I do it; I place my hope in God and my eyes I lift to the heavens above. The search for earthly bridges can leave us worn out and tattered but remember any union done with good intentions and true spirit gives us the audacity to hope.
It all begins with us; can we be the bridges that truly lead our partners in these unions to the other side? A brighter side in which they hoped for and not let them loose faith? Think about it, I am not being idealistic but urging all my dearest readers, let’s tell ourselves the truth every time we lay to bed at night. You have a right to hope but when its time to let go and burn the bridge, take courage. The pain will come to pass and you will see the sun again…
You have the audacity to hope when the spirit is true… :)
Wednesday 18 March 2009
Tuesday 10 March 2009
SIMPLE JOYS..............
Today I am reminiscing on the different characters of people I have encountered in my life. Right from kindergarten to high school. Wow, so many characters and each one of them influenced my life in one way or another. Some in a negative way and some in positive way. I remember the bullies I encountered on my walks back home and in school, how much I feared and thought they were like a small god to be worshipped. I believe many of us have encountered people in our lives who held a key to certain aspects of our lives. As much I believe that this should not be the case, sometimes we meet people who just by a word make us loose or boost our self esteem.
These persons may appear in form of crushes, friends or loved ones along the way. How often when we have persons in our lives that we dress, smile and do a lot to impress? It’s painful but it’s a reality. It may not last all our lives long but for the period it lasts, they hold a key in certain aspects of our lives. Recently I got an inspiration to write few notes on someone who has impacted my life in the recent past, I wanted to express in the simplest words what the person had seen me through. When I shared my wish with the persona, the response I got made me loose all the words I could think of. I lost the desire to share with the world what I had inside on this particular personality. It was in the simple word that I got in response that made me slip away from the flow of words in my heart.
What I mean to say is that these people will always be there and while they last we have to find a way of not making them a center of our lives. I may sound mean but it’s not the case; it may sound an easy step to do but it isn’t. The first step I believe is to first search inside of us to find the need that dwells in us. This need is the key to making our lives easier. It could be a need to look beautiful in the eyes of this person, perhaps we want to look smart; perhaps outstanding… in most cases we will find that needing a person is poisonous but instead we should be just as simple as we are. Show our true beauty to the world, blossom in the spring and let our colors shine bright. Only this way we will catch the eye of the persons dear to us and the world at large…
Likewise I realized that my search for inspiration was in vain since it’s a seed in me, it’s growing in my heart and I could only nourish it in the simple joys. Chasing waterfalls would drown me or cause my spirit to fade and my inspiration may die out. From the gentle smile of the guard at the office building this morning, to the simple laugh is shared with the shop attendant at my work place, I realized my joy is complete. These people may never get close to know who I am but their smiles and greetings made me smile and feel warm inside. This is where we should search for impact, the simple joys around us, this joy is God given. People who impact our lives will come and go but what matters is the joy and peace that dwells inside.
Find it in the simple things around you, from the smile and laughter of a small child, to the greetings of a stranger in the street; how often do we overlook the rivers and streams hat flow gently in our lives instead we chase the waterfalls?..try it, its all in the simple joys before our eyes………impact the world around you with the simple joy, trying to live for someone else is like chasing your own shadow.
Guess what, you will never catch it your shadow)……………………………..
These persons may appear in form of crushes, friends or loved ones along the way. How often when we have persons in our lives that we dress, smile and do a lot to impress? It’s painful but it’s a reality. It may not last all our lives long but for the period it lasts, they hold a key in certain aspects of our lives. Recently I got an inspiration to write few notes on someone who has impacted my life in the recent past, I wanted to express in the simplest words what the person had seen me through. When I shared my wish with the persona, the response I got made me loose all the words I could think of. I lost the desire to share with the world what I had inside on this particular personality. It was in the simple word that I got in response that made me slip away from the flow of words in my heart.
What I mean to say is that these people will always be there and while they last we have to find a way of not making them a center of our lives. I may sound mean but it’s not the case; it may sound an easy step to do but it isn’t. The first step I believe is to first search inside of us to find the need that dwells in us. This need is the key to making our lives easier. It could be a need to look beautiful in the eyes of this person, perhaps we want to look smart; perhaps outstanding… in most cases we will find that needing a person is poisonous but instead we should be just as simple as we are. Show our true beauty to the world, blossom in the spring and let our colors shine bright. Only this way we will catch the eye of the persons dear to us and the world at large…
Likewise I realized that my search for inspiration was in vain since it’s a seed in me, it’s growing in my heart and I could only nourish it in the simple joys. Chasing waterfalls would drown me or cause my spirit to fade and my inspiration may die out. From the gentle smile of the guard at the office building this morning, to the simple laugh is shared with the shop attendant at my work place, I realized my joy is complete. These people may never get close to know who I am but their smiles and greetings made me smile and feel warm inside. This is where we should search for impact, the simple joys around us, this joy is God given. People who impact our lives will come and go but what matters is the joy and peace that dwells inside.
Find it in the simple things around you, from the smile and laughter of a small child, to the greetings of a stranger in the street; how often do we overlook the rivers and streams hat flow gently in our lives instead we chase the waterfalls?..try it, its all in the simple joys before our eyes………impact the world around you with the simple joy, trying to live for someone else is like chasing your own shadow.
Guess what, you will never catch it your shadow)……………………………..
Monday 2 March 2009
BETTER THAN I CAN
Thoughts run on the insecurities we face as human beings; the thought of always having someone better than you, someone taking your place in a given aspect of your life.our spirits get crushed and often feelings of anger, hatred, envy and jealously crowd our hearts. As if not enough, we feel timid, huddle ourselves to a corner and watch all unfold before our eyes helpless. I would be surprised if someone told me they never went through this kind of situation in their lives…
How often do we take fore granted of the fact that there will always be someone better than us? Someone with greater talents, beauty and perhaps character than ours. This feeling however has a “pass it on”effect and every time we meet someone better than us, someone somewhere feels the same about us. Why do we stare at our neighbor’s meat and forget our own meat frozen in our refrigerators? Human heart knows no satisfaction and pride has often weakened our sound judgment. Alas, I am not here to criticize anyone but rather discuss this issue of feeling not good enough.
We may hurt this night and feel timid.. It will hurt to see that someone can do what we did in a much better way. Perhaps in love, somebody could love the person we love in a better way. The pain and doubt can be searing, cold and so real. But how long will we dwell in this state of loosing. Gaping, mouth open at the barbecue in our neighbor’s yard. Looking over the fence, looking back, looking sideways…hold it! You were meant to look forward that’s why you have your eyes ahead, the neck may turn but not for long…
You may wonder why I write this today; and it may appear as if I have it all figured out but no! I walk each and every day with a knowledge that someone will always be better than me; but I choose to dwell on the thought that I am unique in a given way.. Someone close to me shared with me her fears that being in a relationship has killed her self esteem. When I enquired why? The answer made me realize that often we stay with other persons believing that we couldn’t do better. Hmmm…perhaps for convenience. She was sad each and every time they went out to social places with her partner because there would always be ladies, dressed better than her, with sweeter smiles that hers, with better accessories than her. What makes it worse is that her partner would lust tongue out after this women.
How sad such a situation is but in my young opinion, I believe that I would rather be alone at these social gatherings than stand beside such a person; in our lives we all have our places, we have persons who will accept as we are and even help us come up to a level higher. But don’t you think it all starts with humility, empathy and genuine care?
I ask my self this question this morning, and I know that I will not stare at the other side of the fence..My place is right here….around me are the people I choose to dwell amongst….try it...
It’s called self acceptance…
How often do we take fore granted of the fact that there will always be someone better than us? Someone with greater talents, beauty and perhaps character than ours. This feeling however has a “pass it on”effect and every time we meet someone better than us, someone somewhere feels the same about us. Why do we stare at our neighbor’s meat and forget our own meat frozen in our refrigerators? Human heart knows no satisfaction and pride has often weakened our sound judgment. Alas, I am not here to criticize anyone but rather discuss this issue of feeling not good enough.
We may hurt this night and feel timid.. It will hurt to see that someone can do what we did in a much better way. Perhaps in love, somebody could love the person we love in a better way. The pain and doubt can be searing, cold and so real. But how long will we dwell in this state of loosing. Gaping, mouth open at the barbecue in our neighbor’s yard. Looking over the fence, looking back, looking sideways…hold it! You were meant to look forward that’s why you have your eyes ahead, the neck may turn but not for long…
You may wonder why I write this today; and it may appear as if I have it all figured out but no! I walk each and every day with a knowledge that someone will always be better than me; but I choose to dwell on the thought that I am unique in a given way.. Someone close to me shared with me her fears that being in a relationship has killed her self esteem. When I enquired why? The answer made me realize that often we stay with other persons believing that we couldn’t do better. Hmmm…perhaps for convenience. She was sad each and every time they went out to social places with her partner because there would always be ladies, dressed better than her, with sweeter smiles that hers, with better accessories than her. What makes it worse is that her partner would lust tongue out after this women.
How sad such a situation is but in my young opinion, I believe that I would rather be alone at these social gatherings than stand beside such a person; in our lives we all have our places, we have persons who will accept as we are and even help us come up to a level higher. But don’t you think it all starts with humility, empathy and genuine care?
I ask my self this question this morning, and I know that I will not stare at the other side of the fence..My place is right here….around me are the people I choose to dwell amongst….try it...
It’s called self acceptance…
Sunday 1 March 2009
Rise up, lift your face off the mud puddle
Tonight I am thinking on the subject mistakes. Several times we have made mistakes, we have fallen fromgrace and sometimes our mistakes can be rectified and sometimes they can not. From betrayal to mistakes that make us loose our face before the people who trust us. The guilt that follows our actions sometimes is unbearable. We are too hard on our selves and quite often we can not forgive our own self. This certainly hurts..
Harder is the task when you have to face the people disappointed in you. The choices weren’t the best and you fell. You fell down hard, face right in the pool of mud.tears feel your eyes and you mind has endless question as to how you could let it go that far..so you lie face in the mud, too guilty to rise. How can you face the sun again when you had thought your path was the best. When you felt better than your friends and pride filled your heart…
It’s ok to hold your face down but not too long because the further you hold it down the greater the consequence of our actions. You may be lonely when you rise up and your face will be dirty; perhaps not pleasant to look at. Your eyes will be swollen from crying. But time has to come when you have to rise up and wash your face. Nourish your body with gentle soup of acceptance. Just like you clean a sweaty body, you need to wash away your guilt. You have to be accountable and try to make it up to the party’s hurt.You have to get the strength to do this by acknowledging your faults. You need to rise up once more.
You may not receive instant forgiveness from those you have hurt but time will show; for every one makes mistakes and every day of our life someone is at fault …
So you fell from grace, the utopia you created but time to rise up, face from the mud, forgive yourself and you will be forgiven when you seek it. Lift you face off the mud and swear never to go back there ….
Harder is the task when you have to face the people disappointed in you. The choices weren’t the best and you fell. You fell down hard, face right in the pool of mud.tears feel your eyes and you mind has endless question as to how you could let it go that far..so you lie face in the mud, too guilty to rise. How can you face the sun again when you had thought your path was the best. When you felt better than your friends and pride filled your heart…
It’s ok to hold your face down but not too long because the further you hold it down the greater the consequence of our actions. You may be lonely when you rise up and your face will be dirty; perhaps not pleasant to look at. Your eyes will be swollen from crying. But time has to come when you have to rise up and wash your face. Nourish your body with gentle soup of acceptance. Just like you clean a sweaty body, you need to wash away your guilt. You have to be accountable and try to make it up to the party’s hurt.You have to get the strength to do this by acknowledging your faults. You need to rise up once more.
You may not receive instant forgiveness from those you have hurt but time will show; for every one makes mistakes and every day of our life someone is at fault …
So you fell from grace, the utopia you created but time to rise up, face from the mud, forgive yourself and you will be forgiven when you seek it. Lift you face off the mud and swear never to go back there ….
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