The other day I had a chat with a friend of mine on the etalon of beauty for women displayed on the tabloids and press. He spoke of his dream woman; how she should look, how she should dress and the dimensions of her body. He drew me a mental picture of a woman I had seen in the movies, journals and magazines. The woman who seemed to have it all perfect and in place. To summarize, he spoke of her as having a banging body like Demi Moore at her late forties.
I have nothing against these gorgeous women and I very much admire them. But the point I am trying to bring forth is that, did anyone see them before they hit fame? Who was beside them when they wore braces? When they couldn’t afford a decent college education? When GUCCI and DOLCE&GABBANA was a distant dream to them? That’s where my point lies. They are simple women just like the women in your kitchen, office and in your lives.
I challenged my friend to do an experiment on his girlfriend and see if she doesn’t match up to the beauties on the TV sets as we see them. He complained of her dressing style, perfume and even her hairstyle. Yet he over indulged himself in items of luxury whereas the woman who stood by him, went on dry. My point this morning is simple, why don’t we stop complaining and lusting after what we see and make the woman or man who stands beside us appealing? Giving them a chance to glow and blossom in our sight. To open our eyes and really see that beyond the makeup and glamour we see in the tabloids lie women and men just like your wives, husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends. Behind the photo shopped image are freckles and pimples just like the lady in your bed. The ever smooth and silky skin is nothing but lighting techniques and shadings. He pumped up six pack is a result of hard work in the gym if not surgery.
Many women and men have had broken relationships simply because the “greener pastures” were masked in toned bodies, expensive make-up and perfumes. We lose the whole essence of beauty by believing that it lies in what we see, whatever happened to the skin deep beauty? One that was experienced daily and got better with every passing day? Is it that we have completely succumbed to the vanity that lies everywhere around us. Is our insatiable ego taking control of who we are? Seeking perfection when we know very well that none exists? Or is it that we only long for what we could never have? Why not look closer to our kitchens, bedrooms, and offices and even at the front seat of our cars and see the beautiful women and handsome men who sit beside us? They may not be George Clooney or Brad Pitt, not Halle berry or Megan Fox but they love us for who we are. Look at the reflection in the mirror and see how far we are from perfection, how could we demand the same of those we stand beside us?
It’s not a criminal act to beautify our bodies and its very appealing to be beside a well groomed person. But wouldn’t it be more fun of we could be the ones to bring out the beauty in our partner? To be the one who turns their insecurities into confidence. It may sound as a wishful thought but think about it. Your Gisele, Heidi Klum, Naomi, Tyra, Scarlett, Johnny Depp is beside you, perhaps even better! J
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Thursday, 22 April 2010
DESCRIBE YOURSELF……
An encounter with new faces in your life can sometimes turn out to be a complex process that may entail a speech of self description. One that requires you to have excelled in English grammar or at least knew adjectives to add to your “I am”. How often have you been asked the question, “how would you describe yourself?” and you are left with the feeling as though you are product to be marketed. You try to set a market value to yourself and my marketing professor would say that its one of the most natural products anyone could ever market. Well, to my point, recently someone asked me this question and I thought of the words I could say to answer the question to perfection. However, something held me back!
What of if there was someone to whom I didn’t need to describe myself to/ one that I didn’t need to give the superficial side of me. Who wouldn’t ask me questions to which the answers have re-echoed in my head countless times? That someone who knew me by heart and was ready to discover the mystery of my being as days went by? I have often answered this question with adjectives that I found were hard to live up to. My responses in the past had made it seem as though everything was perfect in “Diana’s land” (not that I am saying they aint J). How I wished for someone who could look at me and see who I am and for the points unclear ask me at the most unexpected time. Someone who can help me find a way home, hold my hand as I went to meet my essence. As I opened the door to “ Diana’s land.”
I was exhausted and I didn’t have the desire to explain myself once more and I politely replied, “I am done with the adjectives lessons in my life!” strange as it may seem but how often do we lie to ourselves and those who sit before us with sweetened words only to discover that it doesn’t even come close to who we are. When we mistake the material elements of our lives to be the essence of who we are? I am not suggesting self description is inappropriate and in the cases of a job interview it may land you a job. But what if the truth of who you really are isn’t yet clear to you? When everyday you find out something new about yourself? Something that you can’t predict before hand? Perhaps you are afraid to shed light in this reality of yourself. My mother once told me that in the years she has been married to my father, she could never say she knew him 100% and many cases she was mesmerized by what she discovered about the man she had been married to for almost half a century.
What if we met someone who knew us by heart; one who was willing to live with the basic and build on the common grounds that you share? Discover your strengths and supplement with their weakness? I know it sounds like a fairy tale but I longed for that moment. It could be a fantasy but I didn’t feel like describing myself neither did I feel like listening to the adjectives from across my table..Perhaps boring is the word to describe me…
I wonder if someone could relate to my thoughts tonight… ;)
What of if there was someone to whom I didn’t need to describe myself to/ one that I didn’t need to give the superficial side of me. Who wouldn’t ask me questions to which the answers have re-echoed in my head countless times? That someone who knew me by heart and was ready to discover the mystery of my being as days went by? I have often answered this question with adjectives that I found were hard to live up to. My responses in the past had made it seem as though everything was perfect in “Diana’s land” (not that I am saying they aint J). How I wished for someone who could look at me and see who I am and for the points unclear ask me at the most unexpected time. Someone who can help me find a way home, hold my hand as I went to meet my essence. As I opened the door to “ Diana’s land.”
I was exhausted and I didn’t have the desire to explain myself once more and I politely replied, “I am done with the adjectives lessons in my life!” strange as it may seem but how often do we lie to ourselves and those who sit before us with sweetened words only to discover that it doesn’t even come close to who we are. When we mistake the material elements of our lives to be the essence of who we are? I am not suggesting self description is inappropriate and in the cases of a job interview it may land you a job. But what if the truth of who you really are isn’t yet clear to you? When everyday you find out something new about yourself? Something that you can’t predict before hand? Perhaps you are afraid to shed light in this reality of yourself. My mother once told me that in the years she has been married to my father, she could never say she knew him 100% and many cases she was mesmerized by what she discovered about the man she had been married to for almost half a century.
What if we met someone who knew us by heart; one who was willing to live with the basic and build on the common grounds that you share? Discover your strengths and supplement with their weakness? I know it sounds like a fairy tale but I longed for that moment. It could be a fantasy but I didn’t feel like describing myself neither did I feel like listening to the adjectives from across my table..Perhaps boring is the word to describe me…
I wonder if someone could relate to my thoughts tonight… ;)
WHEN SILENCE SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS
This afternoon I was brought to a point where I had to decide whether words could express what was going on in my mind. I thought of words that could fit into the given situation, an excuse that could help me get out of the awkward situation I found myself in. I was going against what I have always believed in and I felt disarmed and the enemy was staring at me with their weapons armed.
Indeed I could have found words, lyrics to a song or lines to my favorite poems. Instead I chose something that I rarely do and I believe many of us don’t either. I chose to seal my lips and lock my voice box. I felt as though in that particular event, only silence could express what I really felt. Have you ever been in that kind of situation when all you could have said has been said? You have exhausted any tactics that you may have developed over time to overcome the situation before hand. What do you do when no smile could smother the enemy before you? When no words of gratitude could express how much you appreciated those who stood by you for the longest time of your life? When no apologies could erase the disappointment off the face of a loved one?
Such situations come at hand when a spouse who has been a part of your life decides that your presence is no longer a satisfaction. When a best friend decides to break away from the relationship you so share or worse betray your trust. When a child rejects the love you have so much given. When your company decides your services are no longer needed. Perhaps a lover finds solace in the arms of another. Indeed, what could you ay when words couldn’t express the emotions you feel inside? How many times have you thought of silence as the best weapon? Your adversary has no idea what goes on in your mind and he/she watches you as you walk away. You could have stayed to fight another day by for that moment you know it’s better to seal your lips and let it go. Flap your wings and fly without chirping.
My mind reels through the pages of my memory and I reckon there are those situations I could have been silent but I uttered words that I regret today. So this afternoon, I chose what I felt was best, to be silent hoping that tomorrow I don’t wake up to imagine how it could have been had I uttered any words. The much wiser men once said that silence is golden. So, I take my golden moment all in a stride. It’s the best I could do…..
Indeed I could have found words, lyrics to a song or lines to my favorite poems. Instead I chose something that I rarely do and I believe many of us don’t either. I chose to seal my lips and lock my voice box. I felt as though in that particular event, only silence could express what I really felt. Have you ever been in that kind of situation when all you could have said has been said? You have exhausted any tactics that you may have developed over time to overcome the situation before hand. What do you do when no smile could smother the enemy before you? When no words of gratitude could express how much you appreciated those who stood by you for the longest time of your life? When no apologies could erase the disappointment off the face of a loved one?
Such situations come at hand when a spouse who has been a part of your life decides that your presence is no longer a satisfaction. When a best friend decides to break away from the relationship you so share or worse betray your trust. When a child rejects the love you have so much given. When your company decides your services are no longer needed. Perhaps a lover finds solace in the arms of another. Indeed, what could you ay when words couldn’t express the emotions you feel inside? How many times have you thought of silence as the best weapon? Your adversary has no idea what goes on in your mind and he/she watches you as you walk away. You could have stayed to fight another day by for that moment you know it’s better to seal your lips and let it go. Flap your wings and fly without chirping.
My mind reels through the pages of my memory and I reckon there are those situations I could have been silent but I uttered words that I regret today. So this afternoon, I chose what I felt was best, to be silent hoping that tomorrow I don’t wake up to imagine how it could have been had I uttered any words. The much wiser men once said that silence is golden. So, I take my golden moment all in a stride. It’s the best I could do…..
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