An encounter with new faces in your life can sometimes turn out to be a complex process that may entail a speech of self description. One that requires you to have excelled in English grammar or at least knew adjectives to add to your “I am”. How often have you been asked the question, “how would you describe yourself?” and you are left with the feeling as though you are product to be marketed. You try to set a market value to yourself and my marketing professor would say that its one of the most natural products anyone could ever market. Well, to my point, recently someone asked me this question and I thought of the words I could say to answer the question to perfection. However, something held me back!
What of if there was someone to whom I didn’t need to describe myself to/ one that I didn’t need to give the superficial side of me. Who wouldn’t ask me questions to which the answers have re-echoed in my head countless times? That someone who knew me by heart and was ready to discover the mystery of my being as days went by? I have often answered this question with adjectives that I found were hard to live up to. My responses in the past had made it seem as though everything was perfect in “Diana’s land” (not that I am saying they aint J). How I wished for someone who could look at me and see who I am and for the points unclear ask me at the most unexpected time. Someone who can help me find a way home, hold my hand as I went to meet my essence. As I opened the door to “ Diana’s land.”
I was exhausted and I didn’t have the desire to explain myself once more and I politely replied, “I am done with the adjectives lessons in my life!” strange as it may seem but how often do we lie to ourselves and those who sit before us with sweetened words only to discover that it doesn’t even come close to who we are. When we mistake the material elements of our lives to be the essence of who we are? I am not suggesting self description is inappropriate and in the cases of a job interview it may land you a job. But what if the truth of who you really are isn’t yet clear to you? When everyday you find out something new about yourself? Something that you can’t predict before hand? Perhaps you are afraid to shed light in this reality of yourself. My mother once told me that in the years she has been married to my father, she could never say she knew him 100% and many cases she was mesmerized by what she discovered about the man she had been married to for almost half a century.
What if we met someone who knew us by heart; one who was willing to live with the basic and build on the common grounds that you share? Discover your strengths and supplement with their weakness? I know it sounds like a fairy tale but I longed for that moment. It could be a fantasy but I didn’t feel like describing myself neither did I feel like listening to the adjectives from across my table..Perhaps boring is the word to describe me…
I wonder if someone could relate to my thoughts tonight… ;)
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