FACEBOOK

For the first time in a long while, I sat down and search for my high school friends on the social network, FACEBOOK. I read on their lives and read through their status’ history. Nostalgia shot through my vein, intoxicating every nerve of me like a drug. I never realized how much I had missed them and how time has changed each and every one of them. One of the profiles that touched my heart is that of my high school best friend. A girl I loved with all my heart and was close to me like my sister. The relationship between us went sour and she turned her back on me and never wanted to hear anything about me in any way.

Back then I accepted her wishes and walked away but on looking at her profile this evening, I felt pain of a love once lost. We shared a lot and I believe no romantic love could compare to a friendship so divine. Well, I am not a stalker and I thought of adding her as my friend but I hesitated. Would she ever accept me back? How could I get myself to say, I am sorry? “I messed up.” “I hurt you.”I have missed a huge part of her life and she has been hardened over time, with a family of her own. I battle with thoughts in my mind; should I say I am sorry? And if I do, for what reason am I sorry for? Does she remember our friendship at all? Our laughter and secrets? Perhaps she does but would she listen to what I have to say?

To some it may seem simple and may advise me, “You never know until you try”. But the fact is that I am a coward today. I couldn’t stand her rejection once more. She was my best friend and as I scroll through to other high school friends, my heart aches. She may have needed my support over the years but I was never there. She is one soul I let down in my life.

Why am I talking about this evening? Well, I urge you to take the opportunity while you have it. When you have the chance to say “I am sorry”, “I love you”, I miss you” and show the ones you love that you care, it will be the wisest thing to never let this chance pass you by. I may have gone out of her life and it’s my loss but I pray to God to keep her and give her better friends than I ever could be.

I brace for what the future brings and focus on the friendships that life will bring my way. To love my friends with a heart that’s true. Thank you FACEBOOK, I am a critic of your influence on people’s lives but today I learnt a priceless lesson in my hour of walking down the memory lane.

THE MIRACLE IN HER SMILE….

She couldn’t stop staring at me, with occasional smiles and shy gestures, the little girl in the bus couldn’t just get her eyes off me. Being unable to resist the innocent and yet heavenly smile, I smiled right back. She must have taken this as a welcome. She suddenly plunged onto my laps shocking her custodian, myself as well. The little girl in my story suffers from down-syndrome or some form of mental incapability. The joy on her face nearly drove me to tears in a public bus and I quickly looked away. Her custodian quickly took her away from my lap, trying to find excuse but I quickly threw her back a reassuring smile. I couldn’t get the right words to tell her it was alright and when I tried to my stop at Ellesmere road had come.

Why do I tell this story? Well, it struck how many parents take fore granted the fact that they have “normal” children, who are not in any form of lack. I have no child of my own yet but the child in the bus drew me to yet another realization of the daily miracles that cross our paths daily. We go about belligerent and whining about the tiniest of issues, passing on our foul moods to everyone around us. We fail to apprehend the beauty around us even on a day when all seems to fall apart. The gift of gentle embrace of a child; the innocence in their smiles and their earnest yearn for care. I was on the verge of tears because in the brief moment I had with this little girl, I saw the face of an angel. Yet another miracle that God gives freely.

In the same bus, the headlines of the “metro” newspaper screams; “THE BIGGEST BURST IN CHILD PORNOGRAPHY “. Irony indeed! I couldn’t help to think of the children whose innocence have been taken away and those being taken as I write this short blog. They are the future me and you and yet someone poisons their soul, defiles their being and robs them of their innocence and radiance. Their angelic image is turned into a dark soul. Words are not sufficient to term these acts as atrocities, yet they happen under our roofs, in our bedrooms, our cars and neighborhoods.

I may not change much this afternoon but I send word across to parents who have little angels, guardian to whom the care of such glorious beings are accorded; hold them and not to let go. Show them that a part of humanity still lives. The miracle in her smile played a string in my soul. When the little girl smiles to you next time please smile back.

HEART SO ADAMANT...

Tread carefully, cautiously, definitely, meticulously;
Words to define how well do it the next
Ones to depict the gravity of the next mistake
Words spoken to a heart, to try and explain
Make it see the gravity of clueless emotions
Solemnly said and in the softest of whispers
Words to an adamant heart

A heart that loves when should not
One that listens not to the counsel of mind
Adamant heart loves once again
Words not adhered to, coaxing was futile
It treads to the grounds of potential pain
Imminent heartache and avoidable bruises
Words were spoken, of how a heart should make next move
Dissuasion was futile, a heart so adamant

What words should be used, to speak to this heart
Communication that only it fathoms
Mind has tried, sent signals of danger
For it to tread carefully, meticulously, cautiously
Tread definitely next time around in love
Alas! Fruitless to say
Adamant heart heeds not……….

by diana