Walking through Batuta mall last evening, I realized that I loved observing human behavior. Please don’t get me wrong since I am not a pervert with binoculars on a dark balcony. I just enjoyed watching people at a close range. From the forced smile on a couple’s face to the innocent genuine laughter and glee of a young one, the message is clear; we all strive to be happy. A task I consider noble but the road that leads to it is hard to accept.
Have you ever been in a situation when you forge a smile or affection yet deep inside you are tearing apart? When every one around you thinks you have a perfect life, perfect body, beauty , partner or even career? Many a times we force ourselves to live in the frame set by the people around us. They set the standards and since we want to play the perfect life we play puppet. When our parents, siblings or even partners set high goals for us and we strain to attain and forget the whole essence of having loved ones in our lives.
We are forced to live behind masks of fame, make up and material value. The world can be lonely at that point; it’s when you wake up beside someone you don’t really want to spend the rest of your life with; when you sit behind a desk that you don’t want sit or better when you wear make up that erodes your faith in the beautiful natural skin you were born with. Many a times we are responsible for creating the perfect lives before the world audience. The desire to have possessions of great aesthetic value overwhelms us, and we buy and continue to buy. The credit card debt piles and continues to pile up, all in the name of living the goog life.
The toughest moment comes when we close the doors behind us and get lost in the bathrooms at the end of the day. The reflection in the mirror shows you who you truly are and think on what you had dreamed for yourself. Your thoughts go to when you let other people’s dreams become your dreams. You feel lost. This is the time when the tears of bitterness, regret and uncertainty flow freely. The loads of make up powder are washed off gently by the warm water, you are naked before your true world; the world of your reflection. Your friends are gone and perhaps your spouse is dead asleep. The children dead asleep. This is the time you reflect on who you really are. Is it really worth it? Is it worth making Hollywood out of our own lives?
How many times do we trap our loved ones in situations that they genuinely don’t want to be? Why do we put them in prison for the sake of love and loyalty? Do we think about what goes on in the mind and heart behind closed doors? When the curtains of the scene in our life comes falling; who will stand with us at the back stage? Will we be alone after the moment of glory? When forced a smile unto the world. Who are we? This is the question we should ask ourselves.
Let’s work hard to turn those tears that fall behind closed doors into laughter. Its simple just as in my introduction, think of the laughter of a child; why is it so healing and reassuring? simply because they believe and hope; they live in the truth…they face the truth each and every moment…
We may have lost the innocence they posses but we can still tell ourselves the truth and live to nourish the “ I” deep within us.
Behind closed doors, we shouldn’t be standing alone, someone should be there with us………..
